Food Trend Physicists define three Laws of Nutritional Transformation. The first and most important is the Law of Granola, which states that everything healthy will accumulate sugar and fat until it becomes a cookie. The other two laws are the Law of Kale, which is that all trendy vegetables shall turn into potato chips; and the Law of Tang, which says that all foods must eventually achieve a form that can be eaten by astronauts.
Some recent events brought these immutable laws to mind. One is that I ran into a bag of Purely Elizabeth Banana Nut Butter Grain-Free Granola on a communal lunch table, and it was already open a little bit. This stuff is pure genius. What struck me was not the old news that it uses all organic oils, sugars and nuts to pack in enough calories to power a sperm whale through arctic ice. What was really impressive was the clusters. Each one was perfectly bite-sized, with no broken-off bits. Yet it didn’t look contrived. The pieces were all random-looking and unique, like snowflakes.
Plus, each cluster was paleo-crack addictive. If our distant ancestors ate like this, it’s a wonder we bothered to invent anything more complicated than grocery bags.
Granola is not naturally clustery. It started out as muesli mixed with oil and honey and oven-fried to a golden brown. Occasional stirring kept the oat flakes separate, so they would cook uniformly. That’s how Wavy Gravy served it at Woodstock, and that’s how I learned it, by gum.
My children grew up on my own cluster-free granola. But meanwhile, the first Law of Nutritional Transformation was creating mutations. Whenever we ran out of the homemade article and had to buy some from the store until I re-motivated, the products grew ever sweeter and clumpier. Eventually, I grew jealous. And curious.
I tried a number of dumb-ass things to get my original granola recipe to bunch up without adding more sugar and oil. I even tried egg whites, which goes to show that you can’t believe everything you read on the internet. You know that, right? Present blog excepted.
Eaters, I did have to add a little more oil, and quite a bit more sweetening , to get the texture I wanted. But the big secret was just to bake it longer at a lower temperature so you could cook it without stirring. Once it’s completely cool you can break it up into oblongs of whatever size you like.
Meanwhile, a random amateur musical theater line about drowning in molasses got stuck in my head, and had me thinking about gingerbread. If you’re going to transform your kid’s breakfast into a cookie, why not make it taste like something out of a children’s story? This turned out to be a very, very good recipe. I hope you run, run, run and catch it, just as fast as you can.
Recipe: Gingerbread Granola Clusters
Granola that clumps up into clusters, is crunchy and delicious, and makes your kitchen smell like gingerbread. Run and catch it.
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Preheat oven to 300 degrees F. Place a large sheet pan on the bottom rack, to help disperse the heat. Have ready two large (12" x 17") jelly roll pans. Measure all the dry ingredients into a very large container, like a stockpot or turkey roaster, and mix together by hand.
Measure all the wet ingredients, including the ginger and brown sugar, into a blender jar and puree for about thirty seconds, until completely uniform. Pour over the dry ingredients and blend in very well by hand - try to use just one hand, so you can steady the pan with the other. Divide the granola into the two jelly roll pans, smoothing out as you go so that the entire bottom surface is covered.
Place the jelly roll pans into the top third of the oven. If you only have two racks, put the sheet pan directly on the oven floor. Bake for about an hour, switching racks and turning the pans back to front every 15 minutes. Do not stir! Five or ten minutes after the third turn, check the color - it should be dark tan, but will darken further as it cools. Pull it immediately if you suspect any burning on the bottom - it's OK to check here and there.
Let the pans cool completely. The granola will still be sticky when it first comes out of the oven, but will quickly harden into a sheet. Break up into large pieces with a wide spatula and store in airtight containers. Keeps indefinitely.
So many options. The unhulled sesame seeds and flaxseed meal are a personal fetish, and entirely optional. I don't add dried fruit because it hardens unpredictably. Use whatever nuts, in whatever combination you like. Cashews are terrific, and go well with sesame seeds, raw or toasted, hulled or unhulled. Puffed rice is a new chapter in my granola story, and worth tracking down.
You can leave out the brown sugar, but even with this much sweetening, it's not a particularly sweet granola. But don't cut back on the oil, at least not the first time you make this.
I have this insanely high-powered ginger from Burlap and Barrel. It's quite hot, so I don't use much fresh ginger, but taste for yourself while the puree is still in the blender, and adjust accordingly. A little heat is fine and will dissipate into a pleasant tang on cooking. Like gingerbread.
Ingredients
Directions
Preheat oven to 300 degrees F. Place a large sheet pan on the bottom rack, to help disperse the heat. Have ready two large (12" x 17") jelly roll pans. Measure all the dry ingredients into a very large container, like a stockpot or turkey roaster, and mix together by hand.
Measure all the wet ingredients, including the ginger and brown sugar, into a blender jar and puree for about thirty seconds, until completely uniform. Pour over the dry ingredients and blend in very well by hand - try to use just one hand, so you can steady the pan with the other. Divide the granola into the two jelly roll pans, smoothing out as you go so that the entire bottom surface is covered.
Place the jelly roll pans into the top third of the oven. If you only have two racks, put the sheet pan directly on the oven floor. Bake for about an hour, switching racks and turning the pans back to front every 15 minutes. Do not stir! Five or ten minutes after the third turn, check the color - it should be dark tan, but will darken further as it cools. Pull it immediately if you suspect any burning on the bottom - it's OK to check here and there.
Let the pans cool completely. The granola will still be sticky when it first comes out of the oven, but will quickly harden into a sheet. Break up into large pieces with a wide spatula and store in airtight containers. Keeps indefinitely.
So many options. The unhulled sesame seeds and flaxseed meal are a personal fetish, and entirely optional. I don't add dried fruit because it hardens unpredictably. Use whatever nuts, in whatever combination you like. Cashews are terrific, and go well with sesame seeds, raw or toasted, hulled or unhulled. Puffed rice is a new chapter in my granola story, and worth tracking down.
You can leave out the brown sugar, but even with this much sweetening, it's not a particularly sweet granola. But don't cut back on the oil, at least not the first time you make this.
I have this insanely high-powered ginger from Burlap and Barrel. It's quite hot, so I don't use much fresh ginger, but taste for yourself while the puree is still in the blender, and adjust accordingly. A little heat is fine and will dissipate into a pleasant tang on cooking. Like gingerbread.